The Paper Doorway: Funny Verse and Nothing Worse

Originally  If I Were a Potato

2nd Audiobook

Release Date: March 2004
Publisher: HarperAudio
Read By: John Ritter
Length: Unabridged - One Cassette
ISBN-10: 0-06-058459-9
Cover Price: $7.99
This second release of the audio cassette version is in the same packaging as the original with a sticker on the back covering the original printed UPC/ISBN/price area with a new UPC/ISBN/price. An additional sticker was affixed to the front plastic wrapping stating “$12.00 value NOW $7.99”.

Book Club Edition

The book club edition I received was in every way and exact duplicate of the hardcover release.

Trade Hardcover

Release Date: October 9, 2001
Copyright: Copyright © 2001 by Dean Koontz and Phil Parks Illustrated by Phil Parks
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN-10: 0-06-029488-4
Cover Price: $17.95
States: "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10” and “First Edition”

1st Audiobook

Have a photo of this edition?

Help us out!

Release Date: October 9, 2001
Publisher: HarperAudio
Read By: John Ritter
Length: Unabridged - One Cassette
ISBN-10: 0-694-52575-8
Cover Price: $12.00

Trade Paperback

Release Date: March 2003
Publisher: Harper Trophy
Page Count: 159
ISBN-10: 0-06-440984-8
Cover Price: $9.99
States: "First Harper Trophy edition, 2003"


Table of Contents:

  • An Accident at the Pole
  • Advice
  • Ages of a Toad
  • All Families Are Not the Same
  • An Angry Poem by a Dragon’s Mother
  • At War with Wood
  • Auntie
  • A Bad Cat
  • Balance
  • Baseball is Safer
  • The Bear with One Green Ear
  • Being Me
  • Better Than Money
  • A Beverage with Antlers
  • Boogeyman
  • The Cabbage Feels No Pain
  • Cats in Spats
  • Crime and Punishment
  • A Cure for Ugly
  • Dangerous Music
  • Dinner with Jilly
  • Do Trees Sneeze?
  • Dogs and Hogs
  • Fashion-Plate Fido
  • The Fearful Bee
  • Food Psychos
  • Frankenbunny
  • Handyman
  • Head Number Two
  • Horse Thief
  • I Don’t Share
  • If I Were a Potato
  • Insults
  • An Interesting Fact About Dogs
  • Listen to the Wind
  • A Long Day of Rhyming
  • Lucky Skunk
  • The Man With Four Eyes
  • Mary Thinks She Wants a Puppy
  • The Monstrous Broccoli Excuse
  • My Words
  • The Paper Doorway
  • Peace Through Hopping
  • Peg-Leg Zeg
  • The Pig with Pride
  • Plurals
  • Poem by My Dog
  • The Prettiest Butterfly I Will Ever See
  • Princess with a Tail
  • Rain
  • Red Hair
  • The Reliable Bunny
  • Rocks
  • Rumor
  • Safe Household Accidents
  • The Seasons of a Toad
  • The Shark in the Park
  • A Short Trip
  • Sick
  • Silly
  • A Skeleton’s Hotel
  • Snowland
  • So There
  • Stars, Mars, and Chocolate Bars
  • A Strange Day on the Farm
  • Them and Us
  • Thinking About Me
  • Those Weird Guys in Nursery Rhymes
  • The Threat
  • Toast and Jam
  • Up
  • Wally the Werewolf
  • The Wart
  • What Will We Do, What Will We Do?
  • What I Like
  • Why?
  • Why Good Manners Matter
  • Why I Find It So Hard to Learn
  • Why Most People Prefer Cats and Dogs
  • Wishes
  • The Woggle Wrangler
  • You Get the Pickle You Ask For
  • The Young Musician – Or Maybe Thug

From The Mammoth Book of Best New Horror edited by Stephen Jones
Carroll & Graf, 2002, p3:
One Door Away From Heaven by Dean Koontz had 500,000 copies in print after three printings. It involved a woman on a quest to save a disabled child from the girl’s strange stepfather, who believed that she would be taken away by aliens before her tenth birthday. The Paper Doorway: Funny Verse and Nothing Worse was a young-adult poetry collection by Koontz, illustrated by Phil Parks. In Britain, Headline published a paperback omnibus of Koontz’s Watchers/Mr. Murder.”

Last updated on February 19th, 2018